STROP GERE

Sylvester Stallone has been allowed out to do interviews again and it's proving quite entertaining as he gabbles the first thoughts that comes into that massive craggy head directly at anyone who cares to listen. Now he has revealed that he and Richard Gere, perhaps the most peace-loving man in the world, just don't get on. They never have and they never will. And to the end of time, no one will really care.

Why would such a pair of heavyweight intellects fall out? A woman? Perhaps a huge argument over China's attitude towards the Dalai Lama? Which handgun is best? No, they fell out over a few spots of chicken grease some years ago and haven't spoken since. Fuck it, let Sly explain...

"We worked on the Seventies movie 'The Lords Of Flatbush' but we never hit it off. During lunch once, I was in the backseat of a Toyota when he climbed in with a greasy chicken snack which dripped on my trousers. So I elbowed him in the head."

Hmm, a completely natural reaction to the slight spoiling of a pair of pants. I don't know if Sylvester wants to appear rock hard by revealing this frankly psychopathic piece of information, instead of a man who over-reacts in the presence of chicken fat (though he looks as though he has a couple of fillets stuffed inside his breasts these days).

Poor Richard must have been utterly traumatised. The vegetarian star won't go near a chicken these days. Other animals may not be so safe.