Naomi Campbell Seeks New Assistant

Jobseekers ahoy! Famously fiery Supermodel Naomi Campbell is looking to recruit a new personal assistant with the help of a reality TV show.

Form a queue everyone! And bring your own crash helmet and some sort of belt to protect the groin and kidney areas.

Could you possibly imagine a reality show where the prize was to be the PA to a famously fighty (and semi-mental) supermodel? A show where you had to prove that you were able to stay awake for 20-odd hours a day (and still be available to blindly obey whatever monstrous instructions the she-devil demands at any time of the day she deems appropriate)?

Is there enough money in the world for this position?

Unfortunately, due to Naomi’s shouty fists, the MTV executives have become less than impressed about the floated idea, which might otherwise have been enormous.

Following her recent appearances in the US courts, Naomi and her existing little helpers have been spinning stories faster than a Jehovah’s Witness in a Catholic Waltzer, explaining how the model is much misunderstood. 

Naomi’s people are determined not to show their client in her true colours. As a deranged harpie. But their pitch to the increasingly-wary MTV people (who are making more and more excuses about being out of town and in meetings) hasn’t been helped by Naomi’s insistence on the show’s title.

'The Minion'.