So, no new housemates then...

We were bloody right about all those new people going into the Big Brother house by the way, even if everything that happened on your telly might have indicated otherwise.

Basically, the new housemates were holed up in Claridges for days in preparation for their big moment – well, except Alexis Arquette who got thrown out for getting off her big manly tits on prescription pills.

However, when Jade-Gate left an enormous celebrity mushroom cloud hanging over the whole show, plans were scrapped and everyone involved, including Darryn Lyons, were meekly packed off home without even so much as a vaguely sycophantic interview and some badly drawn banners waved in their face.

SO BASICALLY I WAS RIGHT.

Besides, one of them might have proven more popular than Shilpa, and Endemol couldn't be having that now, could they…