HOTT DOGG

Shy, self-defacing rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg emerged bashfully from his shell for long enough to make an appearance in Munich for the MTV European Music Awards, bless his brave little soul! The night before his presenting duties he and his utterly charming entourage decided to grace the art galleries and theatres of the fine city, before retiring for a small repast before bedtime.

In other words, he and his crew were obnoxious in as many locations as possible and acted like a bunch of tossers. Annoying everyone in the city they came across, their reputation soon went before them, with several establishments closing early instead of having to suffer Hurricane Dogg (perhaps remembering the antics in Heathrow airport which effectively got Snoop and his people banned from the UK).

After pausing the drinking and smoking for a few seconds, Snoop and his hateful coterie dropped into a restaurant for some traditional German fare. A pizza. Even there, they managed to annoy the staff in a record-breaking amount of time

Dogg eventually plumped for the culinary masterpiece - the salami pizza - which was duly delivered to his table, along with a ‘special’ ingredient. It took the ‘relaxed’ rapper around half of the pizza to realise that the staff had placed the hottest chillies, in unprecedented numbers underneath every wholesome slice of salami.

By the time Snoop realised this, steam was shooting out of his muthafucking ears, his ass was gas and his nizzle was so grizzled that his only option was to beat a hasty retreat in search of a bucket of ice cold milk and a minibar containing nothing but the softest of chilled toilet rolls.