THANK THE LAW

When it comes to whining, Britain has an Olympic-standard moaner in Sienna Miller, who should be gracious enough to admit that she's famous for one reason and one reason only - Jude Law's wandering penis.

Now she's annoyed that her association with Law has (wait for it) made things harder for her in the film industry.

"I fell in love with someone who was incredibly famous. That is what happened. I hate regrets. It was a beautiful time in my life. And that was the way it was meant to be," she emoted, as if she was in a badly-written Mills & Boon bodice ripper.

"A certain part of me wishes that I maybe had a film out before that attention started because it has been a constant battle since." Hmm. Call Sherlock Holmes and ask him to solve the mystery of why the film parts only appeared after she started this relationship.

"I'd done theatre and been to drama school and suddenly it was just about what I wore and who I was with," she continued, clearly expecting some kind of medal for twatting about in a bodice, "It was never about my work and it's still very hard for it to be about my work."

Which involves flinging her lollipops out in 'Layer Cake' and... No, that's all I can recall.