TIGER FEET. AND HEAD AND BODY

When it comes to camp, Teutonic magicians performing with large, angry cats, Siegfried and Roy are probably near the top of the list. Though this strategy backfired slightly when Siegfried (or maybe it was Roy) had his throat almost ripped out by a large cat which decided it was bored with the daily grind in a Las Vegas magic show. Now news emerges of perhaps their greatest trick ever: managing to convince their head of security to cut up and cremate a dead tiger.

Sadly, no tickets were available for this performance as it was done in private, though it remains the only show of theirs that I would pay to watch. The details were revealed by Jim Mydlach, the tiger dissecter who has written a book which hardly looks like a page-turner apart from the dead cat incident. How many times can he repeat an anecdote about getting the pair safely from their room to the stage and back again?

When their tiger Sahara (yes, that's an African desert and there are no tigers in Africa, but just leave it, eh?) died of kidney failure the magicians were determined to keep the ashes of their beloved pet, as they have kept all the remains of their previous cats. Not creepy in any way whatsoever, and neither is the fact they have their own private furnace. Jim takes up the story.

"Sahara had gone into rigor mortis, so there was no hope of stuffing the huge animal into the tiny furnace. But Roy... didn't want to hear it. He wanted the cat cremated and brought back to the house as soon as possible, and he insisted the ashes had to still be warm when he got them."

So Jim did the decent thing and cut the magnificent beast up into pieces small enough to cremate before delivering the smouldering mess into the sweaty hands of the magicians.

Surely there comes a point when you have to insist that this is not something that comes under your job description?