SHIRLEY YOU'RE JOKING

The world is a serious place and at times it's good to sit back, relax and bask in the comments of someone who is completely barking mad. Right on cue, here comes Shirley MacLaine, sister of Warren Beatty and no relation to a normal mental state.

Shirley has asked, nay DEMANDED, that the US Government make public their files relating to UFO activity over the country, because they've got loads of them you know, and they're all kept at Area 51 with the Elephant Man's skeleton and the Ark of the Covenant in that big warehouse they showed at the end of Indiana Jones.

Dennis Kucinich, Shirley's close friend (and who happens to be running for Republican Presidential nomination) revealed in a recent interview that he believes that spacemen exist, and after these comments they have a far better chance of getting to the White House than Dennis ever will. To have a leading politician throw his career away with one unguarded mental comment has delighted Shirley. She stopped drinking her own piss for long enough to say:

"I thought that was terrific, that a presidential candidate admitted it. It's time. Many countries have released their files - Argentina has, Brazil, France. Let's do it."

Yes, Shirley, let's! And while we're at it, let's get to the bottom of this mystical ring that turns the wearer invisible. If the Iranians get their hands on it, we're all doomed, so let's see the secret files and name and shame the hairy little ring bearers.

Cuckoo!