Danielle Learns Shetty-quette

Shilpa Shetty is continuing to milk the sacred cow of publicity. The fall out from her bovine and bemused appearance on 'Celebrity Big Brother', combined with Richard Gere's simulated lip-rape has resulted in the first ever Leicester Square premiere for a Bollywood film, 'Life In A... Metro', which unfortunately has nothing to do with an Asian film star being forced to live in a very small car.

One surprising attendee at the premiere was bullying Scouse racist Danielle Lloyd, who cast aside her convenient cancer scare story to bravely attend.

"Shilpa invited me here. I've come to support her," Lloyd hissed through gritted teeth while her pure-bred British hands formed white-knuckled Aryan fists and twirled furiously at waist level like angry cobras looking for victims.

Nice dress though. And the pillowcase with eyeholes cut into it was a lovely touch. Though the burning cross had to be left outside for Health and Safety reasons.

On the other hand it would, of course, be deeply cynical to suggest that Shetty invited Lloyd purely for the column inches the two publicity hounds' grim reunion would gain, wouldn't it now?