THAT DON'T IMPRESS HER MUCH

It was announced last week that singer Shania Twain and her husband of 14 years (the incredibly named Mutt Lange) were to split. The story at the time was that the pair had grown apart, as couples often do, and decided to go their mutual ways - but remain as friends. How very civilised. Except it now appears that Mutt was living up to his name and running around town like a dirty old dog, cocking his penis not at lampposts but another woman instead.

When it comes to 'the other woman' it's always the usual suspect (like the nanny, hey Jude?), and this case is no different, with Mutt falling for that perennial temptation – the woman who looks after the couple's spare holiday chateau in Switzerland. Dammit! I'm sick of this scenario endlessly repeating itself. What's wrong with you Switzerland?

People magazine have an insider close to the couple (albeit an insider who may be completely fictional), who has the low-down on the other woman, who they name as Marie Ann Theibaud.

"Mutt and Marie Ann left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship. (Shania) is devastated. This came out of left field...She loved him."

Oh dear. Shania probably can't stand the sight of the man at the moment, so it’s truly a case of 'Never the Twains shall meet.' Sorry…