TO BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT...

You know a film's title is utter nonsense when the screenwriter himself says he hasn't got a clue what it's supposed to mean. The next Bond film originally went under the title 'Bond 22' which would be pretty drab but fairly good in the descriptive stakes. Then the producers (themselves called Broccoli, so no strangers to idiotic nouns) decided that 'Quantum of Solace' would be a fantastic name to launch an action film.

Screenwriter Paul Haggis (himself getting in on the daft name show) was asked by MTV what the fuck was going on, and he gave a helpful insight into the naming process.

"I have no idea. It's not my title."

Tsk. Obviously he should have turned to the fount of all knowledge and fun, Bond himself Daniel Craig, who boomed his good-natured laugh at the end of January and gently explained how Bond isn't getting pretentious at all. Oh no.

"The statement is an Ian Fleming statement. It comes from the idea that in a relationship, if you don't have a quantum of solace left in your relationship, then give up," explained Craig.

You see, after 'Casino Royale', Bond is heartbroken and doesn't have his quantums solaced. Quite simple really.

It may well be a great film, but it's an action film - a Bond film - for fuck's sake. As Alan Partridge said, "STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!" What next? 'A La Rechereche Die Hard Perdue'?