YES, BUT IS HE HAPPY?

A poll by In Touch magazine has revealed that the richest couple in Hollywood (by far) are Salma Hayek and her fiance Francis Henri-Pinault, the chairman of the multinational conglomerate PPR, which owns the fashion brands YSL and Gucci. Salma is fairly financially independent, though her fiance's current bank balance is hovering around the $7bn mark.

Seven billion. That's about five or six 'McCartneys' (though that chap's personal wealth may diminish by the end of April's divorce settlement proceedings). It's likely that Henri-Pinault may also gain some income from his current title of 'World's Smuggest Man' because if there's anyone who has got the lot it's this enviable sod.

Woody Allen once famously joked (back in the mists of time when he was actually funny rather than just looking worried and playing jazz) that if he were reincarnated he would want to come back as Warren Beatty's fingers. It's fairly obvious who most people would want to come back as now.

Just bought the $10m house sold by Kelsey Grammar in California? Check. Had a child in September and employing a veritable league of nannies to sort the baby out if it cries in the night? Check. Waking up next to Salma Hayek every morning? Check, check, check, you lucky, lucky bastard!

Good luck to Francis, and let him make the most of it (that is the sound of teeth gritting in the background). If there's any justice in this reincarnation deal then he's coming back as a slug next time, though with his luck he'll probably be born with wheels and a salt-resistant soft-top.