BRAND NEW KEEF

So when Kevin 'just walking my dogs' Spacey decides to put on play about the Rolling Stones who does he cast as Keith? Could it be Johnny Depp who in 'Pirates of the Caribbean' has been playing Keith Richards for the last five years? And who in fact starred alongside Keith in the film? Nope, it's teetotal comedian Russell Brand. Genius, you can see the likeness already can't you?

The play will be aptly called 'A Summer In Hell' and charts the story of The Rolling Stones' hell-raising days in the South of France where none of them was a teetotaler. Keith lived the rock and roll dream writing some of his best guitar hooks (sorry hooky wooks) whilst causing havoc with wild parties and crazy women; one of these women is going to be played by arch mentalist Kylie Minogue, apparently.

Such a travesty of miscasting needs to be rectified, your suggestions for who should play the Stones would be most welcome and we might even send a handsome young courier round to deliver them to Spacey in person.

So Leslie Grantham as Mick Jagger anyone?