Robbie Williams hopes to star in the next Star Trek film

Beam Me Up, Fatty

Published on Mon 30 July 2007 by IanMcShane

Robbie Williams hopes to star in the next Star Trek film

Just as Kylie gets set to star in the Christmas episode of 'Doctor Who', it seems a certain bloat-prone ex-boybander will trump her casting coup, as Robbie Williams is currently optimistic about playing Captain James T Kirk in the next Star Trek film.

As this instalment will presumably go by the legend 'Star Trek XI: The Search For Dignity', Williams is in advanced talks with the director JJ Abrams, creator of 'Lost'. Abrams said: "I think he'd be a good Captain Kirk. The Kirk in my movie is quite young, it's like the early years."

I can't wait. The thought of Williams's generous frame ballooning out of that flattering mustard coloured top is too inviting, not to mention those smouldering, seductive glances to be flung at Spock. Hopefully they can get Jonathan Wilkes to play the random security bloke in the red shirt who gets killed in the first five minutes.

Of course, when the Enterprise is torpedoed by a Klingon vessel Williams can gleefully throw himself about the set, screaming "Mr Grimsdale!" in his best Norman Wisdom impersonation. Call the engravers, the Academy Award for 'Most Embarrassing Performance' has found a home.

Robbie Williams, Take That, Star Trek, JJ Abrams, Lost, Holy Moly, Celebrity News, Gossip

pass it on print article

WALK THE BANK
MEAT THE BEATLES
YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?

IS IT ANY BLUNDER
HBO NO-NO
OWN GOALY MOLY
NEWSMOUND
HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'

COMMENTS

		RoyKeane on Mon 30 July 2007 said... The only reason the fat cunt could do a little dancing was because of all the drugs he was on. But he still danced like an epileptic with his finger in the plug socket. FAT CUNT!!!
		scaryclairey on Mon 30 July 2007 said... turn phasers from 'stun' to 'kill' or 'melt-gurning-face'.
		DeirdreChambers on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Still would. mainly so I could video it and then show the relustant tape to Jonathan Wilkes and watch him cry
		MrsMoon on Mon 30 July 2007 said... travelling through hostile lands, with strange alien beings who do not recognise or understand you...enough about life in L.A. for you, Rob, yeah, yeah, Star Trek...career suicide...fucking do it....
		strangelad on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Who made this shite up? Like JJ Abrams would even look sideways at this tub of lard, unless of course the villain of the piece required a talentless fat cunt who can't act.
		insiderinfoboy on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Wonder if there would be an opportunity for him to do his Elvis impression ... I'm sure they could write it into the script.
		DOGPAS on Mon 30 July 2007 said... I am sure this fatboy has boldly already gone to many places most sane striaght men have no desire to go & discovered strange new acts while there.....
		SukieBapswent on Mon 30 July 2007 said... ....these are the journeys of the space cadet williams, whose mission is to seek out every fray bentos outlet in the universe and plumb the depths where no man has gone before....captains log large burger double cheese, fries, thick shake, with lashings of coke and red bull please (repeat to fade)
		on Mon 30 July 2007 said... YES ROBBIE WE HATE YOU! YOU FAT MINCER?! I MEANT DANCER yeah right!
		ChunkyMunky on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Hmm...Captain James T Cunt of the starship Cunterprise...nope - don't think he's even got enough talent for that. He should stick to the competitive eating contests as I've heard he can find lots of room to stick a big wiener...
		lisac9832 on Mon 30 July 2007 said... I fucking hate Robbie Williams
		JiggeryCock on Mon 30 July 2007 said... "Fuck the Red Bull and the methamphetamines! Gimme some of those dilithium crystals Mr Scott - I feel a Captain's Log coming on!"
		sirbuckle on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Interesting picture. is he in jail? looks like shit, is shit and an utter cunt
		anneka on Mon 30 July 2007 said... I would. Even if he is a bit on the lardy side
		bystander on Mon 30 July 2007 said... I think he would make a jolly good T J Hooker and my wife adores him but it only goes to show money cannot buy you happiness (Not that I've ever had the chance of finding out)
		Mungo Shuntbox on Mon 30 July 2007 said... didn't Shatner wear corsets to keep the adipose tissue under control? Ideal role model (or roll model?) for this football hooligan turned pop yodelller.
		papers on Mon 30 July 2007 said... Dream on, fatboy.
		micksmate on Tue 31 July 2007 said... If he wants to break America, this movie is not the way to do it. Get the man a job as a judge on one of those rediculous reality shows (i.e. "Don't Forget the Lyrics", "America's Got Talent"). Television is the way to go for maximum exposure and instant fame in America.
		JiggeryCock on Tue 31 July 2007 said... Micksmate - it's either that or the Unabomber / Virginia Tech route
		Marshfield on Tue 31 July 2007 said... I would as well, but then I'm a bloke, actually that's probably an advantage I suppose. Oh and don't make me laugh. As if anyone in their right mind would cast Robbie Williams in a movie, nevermind a multi-multi million pound one with a franchise that is on it's last legs if this movie fails. Although he does rather fit the part, sometimes fit-as-a-fiddle sometimes portly, little to no acting talent. One problem he speaks completely differently to William Shatner who is well known for his slow... deliberate... speaking... style. Whereas Robbie is Mr Motormouth non-stop bollocks spouting bullshit. That said I'd rather Robbie got it than another rumour that has Matt Damon in the Captain's chair.
		robbie22 on Tue 31 July 2007 said... What makes me laugh is that you lot of narrow minded half wits really believe what crap they print in the papers,what cunts you are. PS Hes a sexy hunk of a man,not one once of fat on him. your girlfriends most likely think of him when you shag them,lets face it.its the only way you would get sex you ugly lot
		bystander on Tue 31 July 2007 said... Yep I have to agree with somebody for a change telly is the way to crack the USA. Various actors have traipsed off to Hollywood only to return defeated a few months later and having failed to grasp that the council house sink estate look doesn't really work in the sunshine state.
		jonnysunspecs on Wed 01 August 2007 said... why....i....have....justgotooo..........getanew.........career!!!