Rihanna is to launch her own range of umbrellas

Brolly Poor Show

Published on Wed 25 July 2007 by IanMcShane

Rihanna is to launch her own range of umbrellas

You've probably learnt of the latest genius wheeze from accessories company Totes' marketing department - hooking up with Rihanna, she who has been at the top of the charts for ten weeks with 'Umbrella' – to produce a range of, wait for it… umbrellas.

The rain loathing operation, realising that it missed a huge opportunity with both The Weathergirls and Geri-sodding-Halliwell, has made no mistake this time and is planning to produce not just one umbrella, but a whole range of the fuckers, priced between £10 and £25.

I can only applaud such wonderful entrepreneurzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Where will it end? The Stranglers flogging 'Peaches'? Madonna flinging her aged nipsy around to flog copies of 'Vogue'? Whatever happens, you can guarantee that if The Special AKA reform, with every CD sold there'll be a 'Free Nelson Mandela' included.

Rihanna, Umbrella, Totes, Cash-in, Holy Moly, Celebrity News, Gossip

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OBLIGATORY YOU TUBE CLIP
I USED TO HAVE A 20 HOT DOG BAGUETTE
WRONGY WOOD
RE-VERSION
NEWSMOUND

LAWYERS 10 SPEARS FAMILY 0
CAN'T FIND ME NOW
I'LL BE SQUARE JAW YOU
THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE?
MICHAEL SOPHOCLES: THE OUTTAKES

COMMENTS

		RoyKeane on Wed 25 July 2007 said... What about the Eagles flogging Hotels in California
		dandyboy on Wed 25 July 2007 said... And as for David Bowie flogging that Heroes show...
		on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Never mind that ridiculous song, just appreciate the woman. Fit! Hubba hubba! Schwing! Daaaaamn! etc, etc. Plus she's already assumed the position needed for the removal of her backdoors. Magnificent.
		MrsMoon on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Or Terrorvision serving "Tequila"...wait a minute, they probably already are...
		catfood on Wed 25 July 2007 said... if anyone's interested, i got a warehouse full of 'Warrant' branded Cherry Pies looking for a good home...
		EHenryThripshaw on Wed 25 July 2007 said... I saw Kate Nash on the make up counter at my local Boots. Think she was flogging foundation or something.
		ChunkyMunky on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Is Robbie Williams still sponsored by Fray Bentos?
		Zigmund on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Kaiser Chiefs are doing Riot Gear and Bibles.
		on Wed 25 July 2007 said... mouth,face then chest
		JiggeryCock on Wed 25 July 2007 said... The Dead Kennedys have just been signed up by the Cambodian Tourist Board
		dandyboy on Wed 25 July 2007 said... And the Pixies are advertising the simian night in a London gay club...
		pondscum on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Britney advertising for Pfizer. George Michael advertising toilets. Paris advertising wooden-eyes. Kevin Rudd advertising cunts (sorry, Oz reference)
		Dames on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Jiggery hail to thee applauds Is Rihanna one of those exclusively clicky mp3-player-on-buses type artists? Either way she's a fat arsed, gibbon faced ghoul and so are her fans, should all be mown down and dumped in mass graves.
		Sundaeg1rl on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Yeah, that Umbrella song was gracing the back seat of the 10- buses here in Manc ages ago. That's what you get for riding the bus through Moss Side.
		Marshfield on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Re-edit: Kaisers are actually releasing their best of entitled 'Everything Is Average Nowadays... especially us'. Mika has a sideline in selling the decomposed remains of the freshly re-dug Grace Kelly. Britney Spears is seemingly gets lots of custom for her most Toxic part.
		on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Good Dead Kennedys reference there.Long live Jello and all he stands for worldwide.He's on OUR side. The only people I like these days are Rich Hall,Bill Hicks (DEAD) and Jello Bifra.All the other selfish greedy corporate cocksucking "Here's my arsehole,fuck it" dignity free recognized worthless fucking cunt "STARS" who do adverts can EAT MY FUCKING BALLS!
		dandyboy on Wed 25 July 2007 said... Even MC5 and Iggy suck corporate cock these days... what has the world come to...