LITTLE TALENT

Well at least we know now why Ralph Little has been quiet for so long; he's clearly been in a darkened room stroking his chin and musing about the future of the TV and telecommunications market. Now he has emerged blinking into the light with his theory of how the media world will be in ten years, and who better to listen to than this comdey great.

And the future is? The internet. Brilliant deductive work from Ralph there.

"I keep wondering whether TV is going to be redundant in the future. It seems like everything is going down the online road and nobody really knows what's going to happen. It seems this is the future, and if it is I want a job!"

You see, Ralph has been starring in an online show (or a shoddy series of 'webispodes') called Kate Modern which can only be viewed on the Bebo networking site. And you thought he was out of work, you big silly!

No, these high quality films are, like the best drama, financed by blatant product placement, and seeing as one of the main sponsors is Tampax, you can imagine what a bloody awful concept this is. How on earth do you base a plot line around tampons? Have four characters sitting around discussing their favourite applicators?

And if TV is down the chute, who should we blame? 'Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps' would be my first nomination to be up in the dock for the murder of comedy. Nice one, Ralph, you genre-killing, talentless twat.