SILICONE HARMY

It has emerged that Priscilla Presley was one of the celebrity victims of a bogus plastic surgeon who has just emerged from jail after serving a prison sentence for the deed. Dr Daniel Serrano claimed to have a miracle cure for facial lines which worked better than Botox, a magical substance which he injected into the faces of Hollywood A-listers, including Lionel Richie's wife Diane.

The miracle ingredient was actually found to be the cheapest form of silicone known to man (unless you count sand), a toxic substance which is normally found lubricating car engines rather than propping up the features of vain women.

The doctor was smuggling the substance in from his native Argentina and charging gullible celebrities between three and five hundred dollars an injection to ensure their faces didn't rust or seize up.

Oh, and incredibly, he wasn't actually a real doctor, just a man with lots of charm and much the same qualifications as Minty from 'Eastenders' or Dr Nick Riviera. Seeing as his nickname was 'Dr Jiffy Lube' you'd think that people might have guessed sooner.

Presley is the highest profile star identified so far, having had the procedure sometime in 2003. It must be a terrible shock for her to hear the news, though she has looked permanently shocked since... well, some time in 2003.