THE LIBERATED

After we'd spent the weekend fervently praying that it was all a big joke and that Pete Doherty would in fact be being put to death rather than released early from his 14-week stint for breaking the conditions of his suspended sentence, we learn that our prayers fell on deaf ears and he's been released. Damn you, The Lord!

The Babyshambles singer walked free from Wormwood Scrubs at ten past seven this morning and spoke to photographers while he waited for a lift.

"Well, I knew it was going to be a bit rough to start with" he said, "with the overcrowding and the medical facilities although they do their best - they are good, they can't really cater for the average junkie..."

How selfish of a prison not to cater for the needs of a junkie scumbag like Pete...

He then bizarrely thanked Margaret Thatcher.

"Thank you Mrs Thatcher for putting me in the company of the most dangerous criminals in the country."

Was it Mrs Thatcher who was feeding him drugs and making him miss all those thousands of court appearances?

It's a shame that the State couldn't have seen its way clear to executing Doherty, but there's always a good chance that he'll administer his own lethal injection in the not too distant future...