No Porridge For This Little Bore

Just what the fuck does Pete Doherty have to do in order to be sent to jail? The latest bleeding heart magistrate has decided that he should be given the chance to attend rehab before sentencing takes place.

Now, if you and I were pleading guilty, as a multiple offender, for two driving offences and four counts of possessing crack cocaine, cannabis, heroin and ketamine, would we be surprised to receive a custodial sentence?

Add to that turning up two hours late to court, meaning that an arrest warrant had already been issued. No, normal people would be sent down quicker than a groupie near Steven Tyler, but not Pete. So, well done District Judge Davinder Lachhar for being such a spineless twat and allowing the pot-bellied poet another chance to flaunt his facial boils around the capital for another couple of months.

In other news, Pete has been wearing the same free jumper since his appearance on the 'Jonathan Ross Show', which might explain why Kate has fucked off to Paris rather than speak to (or smell) the cadaver in waiting.