BLONDE HEIRESS WLTM... ANYONE

Poor Paris Hilton is discovering that all the money in the world can't buy you a friend, apart from a four-legged canine who can't ask to be set free. With this in mind she is currently in talks with a TV production company to find her a new best friend. A bit like Jodie Marsh's search for a husband but altogether more desperate.

Us Weekly is reporting that a list of potential new best friends will be filmed for a reality TV show and gradually whittled down until they find someone who doesn't want to choke the life out of the money-squandering waste of skin. If such a person exists.

"The show is going to be about her searching for a new best friend. Paris is tired of the haters and she's looking for someone new. She's looking for someone new and cool who she can trust. The new show is going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life."

A side not seen on 'The Simple Life'? A human with some redeeming features? Anyway, get your applications in now, because the show is bound to be populated by people who REALLY want to be old bonk-eyed's pal rather than desperate wannabes who just want to get their faces on TV.

As I type I can hear the sound of crayon gliding across application form. It appears to be coming from the direction of Warrington, and chez Katona in particular.