EMPIRE STATE

Be honest, when the name 'Paris Hilton' is mentioned are you more likely to think of a tireless role model who has worked hard to be where she is today, or a talentless, spoilt, wonk-eyed skeleton who is only famous for giving really bad blow jobs in a leaked porn clip?

If your answer was the latter, correct. If your answer was the former, you are Paris Hilton and congratulations on reaching the second paragraph, though I bet your lips are moving while you read.

Paris is claiming that she's a bit of an inspiration to all, having pulled herself up by her bootstraps with barely any help from one of the richest families on the planet, and by doing so she is taking the term 'self-delusion' to an unprecedented level.

"I don't pay attention to lies because I am a good person. I work very hard and I've built this empire on my own. I think this is an inspiration for a lot of girls out there."

And it is a wonderful empire, totally overshadowing those rubbish Greek and Roman ones who were more concerned with literature, art and culture rather than handbags and Chihuahuas. Maybe she should be applauded after all, having managed to stretch an atom of talent across the surface of the world. She truly is the human equivalent of gold leaf – it looks expensive but it's only wafer thin.