WHO'S GONNA DRIVE YOU HOME TONIGHT?

Imagine you're Hollywood A-lister. You've been to a party, you've had a fair bit to drink and now you want to go home with the latest current starlet who is clinging onto your arm and your every word. But you're drunk and you can't drive! Oh, what to do? Easy, call for P Diddy's new celebrity chauffeur service, designed especially to whisk drunken celebrities home (at huge expense) without having to drive themselves into paste like James Dean.

Diddly has had some superb ideas, but surely this tops the lot? What could possibly go wrong with a scheme such as this?

Maybe the fact that most celebrities don't drive themselves to plush parties? Maybe the fact that if they can afford Diddy's ridiculous and overpriced limo service then they can certainly afford a driver of their own to wait outside shivering in the cold while they baste their balls in the warm glow of celebrity?

Or maybe the fact that LA has this odd fleet of yellow cars that the locals describe as 'Taxis'? The surroundings aren't as pleasant but you save around $3000 per mile.

Time for a rethink, Sean?