HANSEL AND METAL

The bizarre 'Eastenders'/Hollywood crossover continues. First there was actress Laila Morse (Big Mo) revealing that she was Dracula star Gary Oldman's half sister. Just the other week Dean Gaffney was in a play with Richard Blackwood, 'The new Eddie Murphy ((c) Richard Blackwood). Now it is being reported that Michelle Ryan, who was previously large-chinned and awkward-shouldered Zoe Slater in the soap is swapping spit with Owen Wilson, the Crown Prince of the dramatic suicide attempt.

The British beauty moved to Los Angeles permanently when she was chosen for the title role in 'The Bionic Woman' and has wasted no time in impressing the wonky-faced Wilson, a man whose nose is so tattered that he is always in profile no matter which way he turns. A 'friend' has commented:

"Michelle's one of the few women in Hollywood who looks like herself and hasn't had loads of work done. She's refreshingly natural." She certainly is, not like her mother Kat, the painted slapper.

"She's also pretty innocent about how this whole town works, which Owen finds endearing."

Which presumably means she hasn't asked too many questions about his so called 'suicide bid'.

Good luck to them both, but be warned, Hansel, if you hurt her, you'll have Uncle Charlie to answer to, and there's no way you'll get a lift back to Heathrow if he batters you, as he seems to own the only cab in East London.