BLOOM'S BLOOMERS

Despite reports that Orlando Bloom was spotted all over Rumer Willis at the Oscars, he apparently has a girlfriend. Celebs, eh? She is called Miranda Kerr (and is a Victoria's Secret model and therefore MUCH more attractive than Rumer). But she's not at all pleased with the Bloom at the moment. And it's not just because he's the world's shittest actor, it's because of his very poor personal hygiene.

Apparently, not only is Orlando a soap dodger, he hardly ever wears clean t-shirts, jeans or socks and even recycles his dirty pants. We wonder if he wears the same pants for the first few days and then turns them inside out for the rest of the week (come on, we've all done it). But if he wears the same old pair of dirty jeans with the dirty pants, they would just cancel each other out. Anyway, he's basically Stig of the Dump, by all accounts.

A source got straight to the point, refusing to elaborate:

"Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly."

What is wrong these male celebrities? First we hear that Johnny Borrell lived like a slob and drove his motorbike around indoors until Kirsten Dunst finally dumped him. Then it's Matthew McConaughy refusing to wear deodorant despite always seeming to be involved in some kind sporting activity.

Well if he doesn't get his act together and she dumps him, at least he can go back to Rumer, as she is batting WAY out of her league.