KATONA NOT THIN - PROOF

As reported in a recent HM mailout, Kerry Katona has announced that the child she is currently expecting will be her last, news which is sure to have midwives and maternity wards shrieking with delight up and down the country. Naturally, Kerry felt she had to declare this 'exclusive' to OK! magazine.

"I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but no more kids!" said Kerry without a hint of irony crossing those wobbly chops, "I've been pregnant for two years solid!" Which is the same as the gestation period of an elephant, I believe. No, this pregnancy is only four months old (and how action-packed it has been already) but even this supermum and twice-winner of 'Mother of the Year' is feeling the strain.

"I'm massive already and I've got five months to go. Before I fell pregnant I was on a DVD diet and down to a size eight and eight stone, and now I'm a size 16 and over 11 stone." I'm sure we all remember those pictures of Kerry as a svelte size eight from four months ago, don't we?

Even ever-smiling husband Mark is sick of the whole thing, as Kerry is getting cravings, this time for food rather than pharmacological powders.

"For the past ten days we've had curry every night and I'm sick of it - I'm even getting a porky belly." Getting one? You've lived with her for years now!