A WOMB WITH A VIEW

Nicole Kidman has rubbished rumours that she was about to recreate the famous shot of Demi Moore posing naked and heavily pregnant. She has agreed to take part in a shoot with top photographer Patrick Demarchelier but it will not involve a huge naked belly, hands across her tits and a smug grin as though she's the first woman ever to give birth (that was Demi's motivation, after all).

Nicole isn't averse to having her photo taken, but these shots will be rather more tastefully done, she claims (with her Little Miss Snooty nose right in the air).

"It's total nonsense," she said. "It was not that kind of a shoot. It's madness to think I did that or was even asked to do that. I'm just looking forward to having and caring for our baby."

All right, calm down! Nicole definitely should keep her clothes on, because her skin is so opaque and translucent that anyone taking pictures of her see through belly would instantly be able to tell the sex of the baby. Now wouldn't THAT spoil the magazine exclusives?