YOU ARE FEELING DOPEY

I don't know which is more disappointing: that Natalie Portman actually visited a psychic in the first place or the fact that she takes anything these charlatans says seriously. Either way, it's a bit of a blow to her reputation as an intelligent young actress (she went to Harvard). But no, she crossed his palm with some silver (more likely a few hundred dollars) and now she's squawking about what she was told, the tit.

Anyone could do a 'psychic reading' with Natalie.

"Hmm, I'm getting some royalty mixed with politics in your past... What's that? You played a queen who became a senator in the 'Star Wars' trilogy? No, I didn't see it, had no idea, etc. Now going further back into your childhood, what's this about you hanging around with a hit-man with a plant? You know, the one who got killed by Gary Oldman..."

It's as simple as that. Natalie has let us all down by giving any sort of credence to this utter bollocks. Though to be fair, the glimpse into the future given to the 26-year-old was terrifyingly precise.

"He told me that my whole life will change when I'm 34 and that I should stay away from water."

Stay away from water? Maybe Pete Doherty has been there for a reading as well.