After a week or so umming and ahhing over how to deal with husband Ashley having it away with any number of the country's most accommodating blondes, Cheryl Cole has decided her best course of action is to give up eating and then take him to the cleaners to the sum of £4m. We're talking divorce here, people. And after all that sick, he could probably do with a trip to the cleaners.
Cheryl has given up defending her cheating husband and called in the divorce lawyers, who reckon she can lay claim to nearly half of his estimated £10m fortune.
"She knows he has slept with other girls. That is no longer in question and she won't be pretending he is innocent again," a source told the tabloids.
"I can't see her taking him back. He's begging like a dog - and that is how she sees him.
"She has taken advice on divorce and it is now a very viable option. She'd be looking at about £4m."
And if she does get it, we reckon the first thing she should do is take herself out for a nice dinner, seeing as she apparently hasn't eaten for nearly a week due to stress.