Most shoehorned press release of the day goes to...

Disaster Narrowly Avoided

Published on Fri 29 June 2007 by roryk

Most shoehorned press release of the day goes to...

In case anyone was wondering about the fate of some nobody actor in a two-bit satellite drama, fear not, he was nowhere near a bomb that didn't go off last night, phew! So nothing to worry about; best get onto the agent to send out a press release anyway though...

Here it is in full in case you still have some fears that need allaying.

PRESS RELEASE 29.06.07
Re: Car Bomb London - Stephen Nicholas in lucky escape.

We act as agent for Stephen Nicholas, who is a well known actor who has played the character of Scott Ward in Sky One’s Dream Team for many years.

It was a lucky escape when he stayed in Sheffield last night rather than his penthouse in Leicester Square..

Stephen was due to be staying at his penthouse apartment which is the only residential property in the Haymarket House and which was the target of a major car bomb which police de-fused in the early hours of this morning outside Tiger Tiger Bar on the ground floor.

He stayed with his family in Sheffield instead of travelling back to London as they have been affected by the recent floods in the city this week, if he had chosen to return home he could have been a victim of a car bomb.

Stephen comments “Big thanks to the police for their help avoiding what could have been a massive blast - I could have been home and the bomb could have gone off, I often also visit Tiger Tiger on Thursday nights..it’s my local”

Stephen appeared in the feature films OFF SIDE:THE MOVIE and GOAL and is currently in rehearsal for filming next month when he will be flying out to LA to star in the new sequel GOAL:3 Trilogy.

Jez Revell (MD)

BEDA MEMBER D/1183
Vat No: 865 2297 96
Website: www.revellation.com

Head Office:
Revellation Limited
39 Victoria Street West
Chesterfield Derbyshire S40 3QY
ENGLAND UK

press release, stephen nicholas, holy moly

pass it on print article

IT'S THE EBAY-CKHAMS
MUMMY'S BOY
EN-CYRUS-PAEDIA SHIT-TANICA
NEWSMOUND
FIGHTING TALK

BEYOND THE PALIN
DESPERATE DENIALS
PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON
SLIPPERY IN DEBT
OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP

COMMENTS

		DickMarsh on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Who the FUCK is this cocknocking non-entity, I couldn't give a peado priests chuff where this guy was last night. I live closer to London than him and im in the fucking Netherlands
		Cuntybollocks on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Who the fuck is this cunt and who the fuck cares? Did the bomb squad guys psyche themselves up to risk their lives tinkering with a load of petrol and gas packed in nails, primed to go off and turn them into pink mist if they made the tiniest of fuck-ups by having a little huddle in their van and saying "Come on boys, we're all big Dream Team fans, let's do this one for Stephen Nicholas"?
		JoMama on Fri 29 June 2007 said... I'm truly aghast. If only I had the first clue who this cunt was, I'd make it my business in life to ensure that he got got caught up in as many 'explosively viable device' scares as humanly possible. Hopefully one of them will do the fucking trick. Although I think I'd kick the living fuck out of his agent first. Cunts, the both of 'em. Penthouse in Haymarket my fucking cock.
		Geoff Wode on Fri 29 June 2007 said... I guess we can all breath safely again. When news initially filtered through about the bomb - all I could think of was Stephen fucking Nicholas ok? Thank Sweet Baby Jesus...
		Spendog on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Even though the bomb didn't go off and he wasn't anywhere near it - it's nice to know he is safe. I had been worried sick about people the moment i heard the bomb hadn't gone off. If he hadn't have been helping the flood victims of Sheffield he nearly wouldn't have not got himself killed.
		lightupvirginmary on Fri 29 June 2007 said... what a relief. He was the first person I thought of when I heard the non-news.
		RoyKeane on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Too full of himself, fucking knob faced cunt. And his poxy agent for releasing this spunk filled drivel
		greatwhite on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Steven Nicholson is one of the greatest actors of his generation, he plays his parts with passion and dedication. Check out my website www.stephennichols.com to get the low down on this wonderful ,talented actorl. I was recently compared to Sir Ian McKellern
		Ingrate on Fri 29 June 2007 said... http://www.stephennicholas.co.uk/indexx.php
		JoMama on Fri 29 June 2007 said... Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! This cunt was just on the BBC news, waxing lyrical about his 'near miss', the cunt!! He was being interviewed as a 'resident', said fuck all about his 'art'. Never seen an eye-witness (who apparently wasn't even there!) try so hard to sound informed, cool, concerned, etc. He was practically jumping up and down with excitment at his own pontifications, the wank faced cunt. Wanted to fuck him up BEFORE I knew who he was. Now I know who he is, things are not looking good for the northern twonk. Born a cunt by the looks of things, and has lost ground ever since.
		dandyboy on Sat 30 June 2007 said... I've not suffered the misfortune of seeing this cuntbucket on the news, but I get the feeling I'd have kicked my fucking telly screen in if I had. I don't know which cuntknuckle is more at fault here, his agent for spouting such diarrhoea or Steven Fuckinson himself for trying to raise his profile on the back of what could have been a very nasty incident. Arseclowns the lot of them, hope they all get impaled on a very rusty church railing in a freak bicycle accident very soon, fucking cunts.
		Sundaeg1rl on Sat 30 June 2007 said... What a lame attempt at publicity. I still have no idea who this cunt is. And Jez Revell sounds like a bukkake party.
		dandyboy on Sat 30 June 2007 said... Sounds like the digestive biscuit game but with a smaller thing to aim at...
		on Sat 30 June 2007 said... Why don't they just post this cuntspurts home address so we can all go round and administer the sort of justice he deserves. I'm talking a prison-style punishment fucking with a rusty mop handle up the fundament, followed by a snooker ball-based sock beating. Yeah, that should do it. The we go round to Revellation's office with a load of gas canisters, petrol and nails and make Jez (a cunts name if ever I heard one) eat them. Anybody got a light?
		on Sat 30 June 2007 said... Incidentally, I can go through a polo from 5 meters. Blindfold (usually).
		DickMarsh on Sat 30 June 2007 said... Wheres his fackin toool
		Mungo Shuntbox on Sat 30 June 2007 said... Fruit or mint polo? Just like to have a complete mental picture for when I thrap the pant python tonight, LD.
		greatwhite on Sun 01 July 2007 said... i think it would be very nice for us all to send this talented actor our best wishes on his website. He needs support at this time. He is inundated with one email. The last email he received was in October last year.
		on Sun 01 July 2007 said... Mint. Haven't seen a fruit polo for years but I'd be willling to give it a go if I ever came across (!) them again.
		ShazzaP on Sun 01 July 2007 said... ...Woulda, Coulda, MOST DEFINITLEY SHOULDA!
		JiggeryCock on Mon 02 July 2007 said... Jez 'Revell', MD of 'Revellation' - do you see what he did there? Branding of the highest order, if you discount the word 'CUNT' branded across his forehead.
		strangelad on Mon 02 July 2007 said... I don't know who he is but at least I now know where to find the smug egocentric prick so I can dp him with traffic bollards.
		strangelad on Mon 02 July 2007 said... Fuck me, just looked at Revelations website, their most famous client is Jodie "I'm fucking mental! wanna fuck? Arrrghhh, my face is melting! Look a paparazzi, I'm over here, take a photo I've got my 90% silicon tits out again!" Marsh. They really are right at the bottom of the list for bottom feeder agents.
		strangelad on Mon 02 July 2007 said... Fuck me, just looked at Revelations website, their most famous client is Jodie "I'm fucking mental! wanna fuck? Arrrghhh, my face is melting! Look a paparazzi, I'm over here, take a photo I've got my 90% silicon tits out again!" Marsh. They really are right at the bottom of the list for bottom feeder agents.
		harrowtyke on Fri 06 July 2007 said... As soon as I read Sheffield, I switched off. For those that don't know, they're all like this. Sheffield Wednesday have the best football team in Europe, despite being in the lower English divisions since Elton John was straight. Sheffield United take the Premier League to court for relegating them for, er, finishing in the relegation zone. They're even unhappy that Hull, Barnsley and Doncaster have been flooded, its all about them you know.
		Marshfield on Sun 08 July 2007 said... http://www.revellation.co.uk/DSC_0023_small.jpg Total twat and a total twat of an agency and he looks like an arse bandit to boot. Probably sucking someone off in a gay Sheffield nightclub, a jizzbomb being the closed he came to an explosion that night.