MODERN TOSS INTERVIEW

Oi. A while back now we gave you the chance to ask Alan, the brilliant sociopath doodle from amazing cartoon series Modern Toss, some questions in return for some goodies. Well here are your answers...

Jimmy Ketchup asks: Why are you so angry? Whatever happened to peace and love?

All the anger funnels out of our arms and legs into the comic, so that peace and love can reign in the world, by the same token that’s why James Blunt is such a fucking cunt.

Christ asks: I have found a lovely farmhouse to buy in Tourettes in the south of France. Now you're are making cunting loads of money with your filthy DVDs will you buy it for me and we can turn it into a Modern Toss theme park? Alan can shit in the brie and Mr Tourette can paint those shitey Chinese style calligraphy names that atrophied parents buy for their globulous brats on holidays as a prophylactic against actual meaningful interaction, which of course will all say 'cunt'. What do you say?

We’re thinking of buying the whole of france and putting a big sign up with what you just said written on it.

Rennie asks: How many lesbians it takes to change a light bulb?

You might want to check your fucking grammar on that, but we rekon it’s about six.

Michael asks: Can you make up a new swear word and tell us what it means please?

Cant – it’s the acceptable face of Cunt.

Andy Mc D asks: Fame changes people, if your DVD is a big hit, do you think you'll get yourself better drawn or maybe stop listening to Reel To Reel?

We’d play the same music but with bigger speakers, same with the drawing we’d just get bigger pencils.

Ben asks: At what point did you realise that this stuff in your head was gold and not a load of old toss like your superiors had always told you?

They kept telling us it was shit but we took it as a compliment.

Matthew: Has there ever been a time where your jokes have gone too far?

The further we go the better it gets.

Dead Dog Smoking asks: Who is the biggest tosser of the modern age, and who was the biggest tosser in history?

We like the play wright Stephen Poliakoff , and from history you’re never going to beat Pol Pot.

Katie asks: Can you think of a good excuse for me to get out of the work Christmas party?

You don’t want excuses you want action get yourself banned. Start spitting at people.

Harry asks: Who would win in a swear off: Modern Toss or Holy Moly?

Fuck knows?

Alastair asks: Are people bigger tossers now than they were twenty years ago?

Yeah it ‘s much harder to stand out from the pack as a tosser, than it was 20 years ago

What are you doing in the coming year?

Watching series 2 in January, Channel 4.

Cheers yeah.

Thank you Alan from Modern Toss! Prizes will be sent out to the people who sent in the best questions soon.