KING OF POP GOING BUST?

If you fancy picking up a prime piece of real estate then keep your diary free on March 19. Because unless Michael Jackson pays off his outstanding debts, that's the date that the infamous Neverland ranch will go up for sale. And there'll be no adverts from estate agents in the local paper, because the property will be offered for public sale on the steps of the courthouse in Santa Barbara, so get those plane tickets booked today.

Michael can still retain the property as long as he pays off his debts to the ranch trustees, the Financial Title Company, in whose sweaty hands the deeds currently nestle. I'm not sure that a quick call to Picture Loans to consolidate his debts is going to help him out here, such is his debt on the house.

He owes $24,525,906.61 (don't forget the 61 cents) which is a mere £12,338,214.55 at current conversion rates, meaning that Michael may well be living out of a leather travel bag (as well as looking like one) for the forseeable future. He hasn't actually lived at Neverland since his move to Bahrain in 2005. Can't remember why he left the country... can you?

And it's not just the ranch for sale but the contents too, from fairground rides to videogame machines, from shower gel to bottles of Jesus Juice. Imagine the stuff that's lurking in those closets?