LET'S MAKE THE CLASSIFIEDS

Oooh, that Melanie Brown just reeks class, doesn't she? Mel has decided to sell her car, a rather fantastic Mercedes Benz (sigh, an AMG SLK55 from 2006 with a mere 10,000 miles on the clock if you're a 'Top Gear' type) but she doesn't want to give money to middle men or dealers, so how would a truly classy person sell their car?

By parking it at the foot of her driveway and putting a sign in the window? Is she really this short of money? Could she not afford, in the middle of a multi-million pound tour, to sell it to a dealer? Or even put it in 'Loot' to retain the tiniest scintilla of dignity?

So the residents of the mansions in the Hollywood hills will have to drive off to their film studios and dentistry practices by passing a driveway with Mel's car parked at the bottom asking for a mere $47,000 ONO. With a mobile number for further details, and seeing as she's in the UK at the moment for some tour or something, it might be a bit costly to enquire further about the motor.

Mind you, it's tempting to know that you can turn up on Mel's doorstep and say you're just looking... whilst demanding to check her oil levels and give her tyres a good kicking...

So if you're at a Spice Girls gig, Mel's mobile rings and you hear the unfamiliar lyric, "I tell you what ah want, what ah... Hang on, yeah? Yeah? Two months road tax, three month's MOT. Ta ra, ya bastard...really really want," you'll know Mel's unique style of advertising is working.