Melanie Brown is on an intensive diet for the Spice Girls tour

Brown Sizing

Published on Mon 23 July 2007 by IanMcShane

Melanie Brown is on an intensive diet for the Spice Girls tour

Mel B has decided she needs to lose a few pounds before hauling her arse across the world's stages on the Spice Girls reunion tour.

Brown has reportedly lost ten pounds in a single week, purely down to a low-fat diet and extensive exercise. Of course, famously, she also lost about 13 stone of horrible flesh just before her baby was born, when Eddie Murphy minced out of her life.

Brown is already at her 'goal weight' of 120lb, so she's ready for the tour. Standing alongside self-confessed anorexic Mel C and brittle-legged Victoria, she could lose another 70lbs and still look like a massive fat hippo with water retention.

Hopefully, they'll work out the stage positionings very carefully. Otherwise the whole floor might tilt when Mel B, Geri and Baby-fat Spice stand together, catapulting the more skeletal two towards the moon.

Beware! Mel is describing the slimming process as getting into 'dating shape'. Gay black men, be afraid. Be VERY afraid. She's had kids by two of you already!

Melanie Brown, Diet, Scary Spice, Spice Girls, Reunion, World Tour, Holy Moly, Celebrity News, Gossip

pass it on print article

DAY TWO IN VEGAS
LILY ALLEN LASHES OUT AGAIN
THE TALE OF JACK AND AMY
HERBIE: FULLY CLOTHED
NEWSMOUND

GREG'S NASTIES
ACTING UP
MILLER�S CROSSING (THE ATLANTIC)
WORKING 9 TO 9.05
BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!

COMMENTS

		Kangaroo on Mon 23 July 2007 said... She looks quite fit in the photo. I think I would as long as she didn't speak.
		Kangaroo on Mon 23 July 2007 said... I have scientifically proven (by holding my thumb and fore finger up to the screen) that her breasts are the same size and shape as her head.
		pondscum on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Are those puppies real, or is this more false advertising? Funnily enough I would still fuck her, I think.
		Kangaroo on Mon 23 July 2007 said... They're not real but who gives a fuck :)
		DapperDan on Mon 23 July 2007 said... TOP BOLLOCKS
		JiggeryCock on Mon 23 July 2007 said... 'Hopefully, they'll work out the stage positionings very carefully.......' Else the moment Victoria steps behind the microphone she'll disappear.
		HalfdeadFred on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Jiggerycock is that a promise?
		grippersteb on Mon 23 July 2007 said... im picturing eddie as an africanprince whipping her with his fly swatter whiilst bombay rolling the bitch..........dont ask me why
		grippersteb on Mon 23 July 2007 said... im picturing eddie as an africanprince whipping her with his fly swatter whiilst bombay rolling the bitch..........dont ask me why
		Dames on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Gripper it wasn't funny the first time.
		dandyboy on Mon 23 July 2007 said... JiggeryCock on Mon 23 July 2007 said... "Hopefully, they'll work out the stage positionings very carefully.......' Else the moment Victoria steps behind the microphone she'll disappear". It would be better if they didn't give the bint a miscophone at all
		Dissident on Mon 23 July 2007 said... What is wrong with me? the more time I spend on this site, the sicker I become! Fair enough, her tits look amazing, whether real or fake, and I'd be proud to cover them with my baby batter - but now, because HM has twisted my brain so badly, every woman on here looks good enough to fuck... and yes, that does include Jade Goody (and no, not Amy Wino - I said woman, not snarling tranny Eddie Murphy cast offs with a collection of tramps' beards stacked on her brainless head)
		JiggeryCock on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Dandyboy - 'miscophone'? She could do with some 'mascarpone' we know she suffers from 'musicophobia' and I'll gladly 'fess up to some 'misogyny' here - I think that covers all bases.
		dandyboy on Mon 23 July 2007 said... That's me dug out of a hole... and I'll try not to be so hungover at work next time...
		on Mon 23 July 2007 said... I would, but only from behind, with all my clothes on so I could make a quick getaway when she started with the pillowtalk in that fat truckers voice of hers. Besides looking at the size of those puppies she could accidently suffocate me in my sleep...
		peepod on Mon 23 July 2007 said... I can't believe i just held up my thumb and forefinger to the screen to test Kangaroos theory....
		RoyKeane on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Nice body, wrong head, mong voice
		Sundaeg1rl on Mon 23 July 2007 said... I think she's breastfeeding, so that's why her hooters are twice the size. When the breastfeeding stops, they'll shrink back. But, you know, she's not looking half bad. I'd have her over Posh any day (preferably suffocating her to death with a queeing technique)
		Marshfield on Mon 23 July 2007 said... Happy days - I'm neither gay nor black, nor a multi millionaire, so I think I'm fairly safe. Leigh Francis really needs to ring Channel 4 with a pitch for a one-off special starring his impression of Mel B, the other cheeky girl as Vicky Spice, Matt Lucas as Baby Spice, Brian Blessed in a ginger wig as Geri, and Samantha Ronson in her acting debut as Mel C. Who could possibly portray Eddie Murphy though?
		on Tue 24 July 2007 said... The titwank would be amazing though wouldn't it...