SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE

If there's one thing more repellent than having to look at pictures of Mel B in her underwear – whilst contemplating how easily she could beat you at arm wrestling – it's thinking about her having sex. But the Spice Girl has made us do just that by going on about how great her sex life is. Well she's certainly had a lot of practice...

Talking about her and her husband, movie producer Stephen Belafonte, she said: "Me and Stephen have a pretty hot sex life."

And when she was asked if there was anything she'd win an Olympic gold medal for, she replied: "Sex."

Unfortunately for Mel, sex isn't an Olympic sport – but there are trophies to show for her dedication to the activity in the wider world. They're called Pheonix Chi and Angel Isis (the poor, poor mites). And didn't she cover herself in glory 'winning' both her trophies? Didn't the whole episode with Eddie Murphy denying paternity make you feeling joyful just being alive?

In more worrying news, Mel is apparently set to release another solo album. We're not sure why she's fucking bothering. Her last effort, 'L.A. State Of Mind', sold just 670 copies in its first week of release in 2005, peaking at an umpressive 453 on the UK album chart and (according to Wikipedia) only having sold 1,500 copies in total.

The public has spoken, Mel. Fookin do one!