MKO OK

When it became clear that the authorities investigating the actor's death were demanding information from her, a rumour circled about Mary Kate pompously declaring that she knew nothing, she wasn't there and wasn't feeling all that well to boot, though she might be able to talk as long as she was granted immunity from prosecution. No, that isn't the case said her people.

"We don't know the source of the information being quoted in the media regarding the Government's inquiry, but these descriptions are incomplete and inaccurate," puffed Olsen's attorney, managing to ignore the more pressing questions in the case.

Although the tiny troll was subpoenaed to testify in front of a Grand Jury looking into the causes of Ledger's death, the stick-thin idiot has managed to avoid any possibility of chokey, where she'd be more likely to end up as someone's toothpick than their bitch, as the case has been closed with a verdict of accidental death.

There were rumours at the time of Ledger's death that he was in Olsen's apartment earlier and that prescription drugs in her name were found in the room. None of this has been proved, but one fact is beyond doubt: the masseuse who found Ledger's corpse for some reason decided to phone Olsen three times before she phoned the emergency services.

Maybe she just couldn't remember '911'? It's quite a hard number to remember after all.