WHIP WHIP HOORAY!

Sometimes, you need a good friend brave enough to tell you where you're going wrong. And sometimes you need your friends to shut their bleeding mouths, which is the position Mariah Carey finds herself in at the moment. One un-named friend (i.e. fictional) of the singer, talking of her two-month-old marriage to Nick Cannon told Life and Style Weekly magazine...

"I give the marriage six months, tops. I can't see it lasting."

It's a good job they interviewed such a close friend, since you don't get insight like that just anywhere, you know. The friend continued, speaking in deliciously-phrased sound bites, almost as though they were a professional journalist making up a story,

"Mariah's assistants and friends call him 'Whipped Nick' behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won't stand up for himself. Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to - he's like her puppy. It seems like he spends more time in the stores with Mariah's credit card than he does with Mariah herself."

So he won't stand up for himself yet he spends little time with her and is off out spending her money? I'd settle for a portion of that whipping. He's clearly not as daft as he looks.