CARCRASH-A-BLANCA

Madonna may be on the verge of butchering another classic, 'Amercan Pie'-style, but this time not with a song but even worse, with a film. The romantic classic 'Casablanca' to be precise and according to reports, she wants to set it in Iraq and appear in the lead role. Forty years ago maybe, and if she were actually an actress. Have 'Swept Away' and 'Body Of Evidence' taught her nothing?

Madonna has apparently approached a Hollywood studio about remaking the film, probably just before the door was slammed in her face.

A source said:

"She and her representatives have been touting around a project which is a remake of Casablanca. Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. She wants to update the story and maybe set it in a modern war zone such as Iraq. There is no script yet."

Now all we need is Guy Ritchie to climb aboard and completely massacre it by adding some cockney rhyming slang and a few gangsters. And Madonna can't pull off playing a 20-year-old no matter how good the facelift. Don't do it, Madge.