SCOUSE PARTY

My heartiest congratulations go out to the city of Liverpool, yesterday chosen to be the host of the 2008 MTV awards, and what a fitting accolade for a city so famous for its music from forty years ago.

To be fair, Liverpool isn’t just about The Beatles (not that you’d know that from walking around the streets and the constant reminders of the Fab Four on every corner, as though nothing else of note had happened there in years). No, Liverpool has also given us The Christians and Cast and…erm…Atomic Kitten? Wait, The Zutons!

There’ll be no lazy jokes from me about limos on bricks or the awards being shaped like a pottery chicken stuffed with ill-gotten fivers.

No, let us sit back and acknowledge that this truly is a city on the up. A few years ago the only culture you’d find in the ‘Pool was similar to that grown in a petri dish in a lab, and now they’re to be the European City of (ahem) Culture.

The MTV awards will be hosted by Sinbad and Mick Johnson from Brookside, after Jimmy Corkhill was forced to pull out after little Jimmy died because of the skag.

And harking back to The Beatles (which Liverpool would never do), it’s apt that the city gets the nod in 2008, because that means it’s exactly 45 years after The Beatles got some money together and fucked off out of the place sharpish.