BANK LOHAN

Lindsay Lohan is deep into one of the most special relationships of her life, and good luck to her as it's lasted nearly a fortnight so far. She is said to be head over heels in lust with Spencer Guilbert, a man who describes himself as 'an artist' while others describe him as 'a waste of skin'.

Naturally keen to keep the fledgling relationship safe from prying eyes, Spencer decided to give an interview to PageSix, ostensibly to talk about his superb artistic career (nope, I must have missed that meeting) but also finding time to be coy and overt about his relationship with the booze-fuelled 'actress'.

"If I'm dating Lindsay, Lindsay will let you know," he said, whilst putting his thumbs in the air and nodding 'Yeah, I'm the man.' "It will come out soon enough," he continued, talking about his relationship rather than any exhibition of his Banksy-inspired work.

So apart from publicity, fame and the impressive arm-candy, what else could he be hoping for from this relationship? When he started banging on about how he doesn't treat Lindsay as a business "as other people do", PageSix asked him if he would be interested in designing her next album cover.

"Hmmm, I never thought of that," he replied modestly, adding it to the list of T-shirts, tea towels and fridge magnets bearing the pair's faces which will soon be sitting in his garage awaiting distribution. Love's great, isn't it?