Dina Lohan: mother and lady

Dina Lohan is like any selfless mother of a young marching powder-sniffing trouble magnet.

While her daughter, the actress Lindsay Lohan, is going through re-rehab and sniffing around Calum Best's Y-fronts, Dina - the caring old hag - has somehow found the time to slime up to TV big wigs and get a show on the entertainment channel E!

And on this show, Dina, who has obviously done such a good job of raising the completely stable ginger scamp (she is her manager too), will try to thrust her similarly well-adjusted younger children into the spotlight for the chance of a life like their older sister's. The show 'Mom-ager' will follow Mrs Lohan as she tries to make 'stars' - and presumably alcoholics - of her remaining children.

What a completely caring woman you are, Dina. It's a wonder that social services are still in their jobs with people like you conveying such a strong moral message to the masses. Well fucking done you.