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If you ever wondered how Lindsay Lohan turned out to be the spoilt, messed-up potty-mouth that she is, here's the answer. Dina Lohan, the mother of the 'actress', has agreed to be the star of a new fly on the wall documentary to be screened on US TV channel E!, showing exactly how you should go about messing up your child's head.

Because there are more Lohans waiting to fling themselves in front of the cameras, prepared to sacrifice any privacy for the opportunity of getting themselves on TV.

To start with, the series will concentrate on the career of Lindsay's 14-year-old sister Ali, who last week professed her greatest ambition was to find a cure for cancer and broker peace in the West bank. Oh sorry, her ambition was actually to be just like her older sister.

Bestriding the show like the queen out of 'Aliens' will be Dina herself, demonstrating the parenting skills that have seen her daughter derided as a drugged-up sex addict with a drink problem at the age of 21.

And if that isn't enough, we'll also have to endure the whinings of 20-year-old Michael, a student, and 11-year-old Cody, a precocious and useless waste of childhood, probably.

"This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining,"

...said a spokesman for E!, the channel which is seeking the impossible in making us all realise that the Osbournes weren't actually all that bad in comparison.