Lindsay Lohan wears a band to stop her from drinking too much alcohol

Lindsay Lohan is bandy

Published on Thu 19 July 2007 by Fatty

Lindsay Lohan wears a band to stop her from drinking too much alcohol

Hollywood ferret Lindsay Lohan is apparently wearing an electronic tag thing that beeps when she's had too much psycho juice.

Doubtless this bracelet will solve everything in her ridiculous life.

"She has transitioned to an intensive outpatient programme, which includes attendance at daily Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, outpatient therapy and daily testing," belched her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnick.

"So there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served."

Fucking hell. If only they could invent one that could beep every time she's COMPLETELY SOBER and still decides to flash her jebs/mimsy or clamp her bits on leeches like Calum Best. That would do her and us all a big favour.

Lindsay Lohan, rehab, alcoholic, Mean Girls, Paris Hilton, Calum Best

pass it on print article

I KNOW WHO MIGHT KILL ME
NOT A SHARP MOVE
MOTHER KNOWS BEST
FEELING FRUITY
NEWSMOUND

SPIDEY BLOODY SPIDEY
OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
LITERALLY 'LITERALLY AMAZING'
WORST. MARKETING. IDEA. EVER.
NEWSMOUND

COMMENTS

		pondscum on Thu 19 July 2007 said... The batteries will go flat in a day with the constant beeping.
		dandyboy on Thu 19 July 2007 said... A day? half an hour more like...
		Vlad on Thu 19 July 2007 said... wouldn't gaffa tape over the mouth be just as effective?
		BurningWheel on Thu 19 July 2007 said... What a bunch of big hairy bollocks. She wouldn't last five minutes with some of the winos down my street. And they're only about 15.
		FlangeMeister on Thu 19 July 2007 said... If this cunt can stay sober for any amount of time,what the fuck is the point of her existance?
		chovnik on Thu 19 July 2007 said... and the band is attatched to her fucking ankle HM for fucks sake, it was in the papers yesterday
		antieverything on Thu 19 July 2007 said... you all presume that there are actual batteries in it in the first place, rookies.
		Kermit on Thu 19 July 2007 said... what is the point of this person? a talentless parasite whose face is constantly on the fucking papers. Does anyone actually give a flying shit about her??? Don't even get me started with Calum and his white vests.....
		MingeFace on Thu 19 July 2007 said... Hahaha... "Hollywood Ferret" Brilliant.
		on Thu 19 July 2007 said... Maybe now that she's sober she'll realise the utter pointlessness of her continued existence and drive her car off a fucking cliff...I'll help, bint.
		Dames on Thu 19 July 2007 said... KingCnut have you been training at the camp of Lord Decider? Keep working on it...
		LoneGunMan on Thu 19 July 2007 said... Only yank, unbelievably rich idiots could think of something as inscruciatley stupid as this. How desperate is she for publicity that shes willing to say. "this braclet tells me when I'm drinking" you thick, waste of oxygen, unworthey, spunkholding cunt. I hope her fucking dog dies.
		CuntyMcCunt on Thu 19 July 2007 said... I think Vlad has it right with the masking tape....I'll bring the handcuffs yea?
		TrumpetOfDeath on Thu 19 July 2007 said... It may as well just beep when she is being a cunt, wouldn't make any difference.
		RoyKeane on Thu 19 July 2007 said... Easier way of stopping drinking is to slice her own achilles tendons so she cant leave her poxy house
		Sundaeg1rl on Thu 19 July 2007 said... I wear an elastic band round my wrist to remind me to put my knickers on in the morning
		Marshfield on Thu 19 July 2007 said... Maybe we can have an Anglo-American drinking contest. In the red corner Lindsay 'Loves-a-drink-and-cock-or-two' Lohan, and in the blue corner Amy 'Wino' Winehouse. The winner gets their tab cleared and the loser has to go to rehab. Either that or it's time for America to consider reintroducing prohibition, in order to protect the greatest acting talent it's seen in recent years.
		dandyboy on Fri 20 July 2007 said... For what it's worth I think Wineshed would drink her under the table, but it's a great idea Marshfield. Except if the States brings back prohibition all the cunts will follow Madonna and move over here. just because we've just gotten rid of the Beckhams doesn't mean we have extra cunt space! I've just contradicted myself here, haven't I?
		LoneGunMan on Fri 20 July 2007 said... I had an american friend come over here and drink bud like he does at home and was on his back in two hours, reckens our bud is stronger than at home???????????
		LoneGunMan on Fri 20 July 2007 said... good job he stayed off the stella
		Vlad on Fri 20 July 2007 said... snips Sundaeg1rls elastic band whilst she is not looking
		JiggeryCock on Fri 20 July 2007 said... Good idea those wristbands. I mean they've stopped world poverty, racism, AIDS and breast cancer haven't they?
		on Sat 21 July 2007 said... "Hi I'm Vlad.I'll fuck anything,including drugged shaved monkeys and/or anything that shows an interest in my boring shitty posts here.God I'm dull,but maybe you'll prove me wrong and have a fat arse orgasm on me.Actually I'll STILL be dull after that.I'm gonna go play nintendo and eat pizza mmm."
		on Sat 21 July 2007 said... "Hi I'm Vlad.I'll fuck anything,including drugged shaved monkeys and/or anything that shows an interest in my boring shitty posts here.God I'm dull,but maybe you'll prove me wrong and have a fat arse orgasm on me.Actually I'll STILL be dull after that.I'm gonna go play nintendo and eat pizza mmm."