THE CAMERA NEVER LIES

Poor Lindsay Lohan is complaining about the way the press use photographs of her, saying that if they manage to snap her blinking they will then claim that her eyes were heavy-lidded because she was drunk. It does beg the questions: how much blinking does this woman do? And why has she cut down on the blinking in the last few months?

Yes, it must be hell being Lindsay, who proudly claims that she has never been drunk in the daytime. Yes, she honestly said that, despite several pictures of her staggering blearily around a rehab centre coming to light a while ago.

Despite the fame, fortune, increasingly orange skin and a fine body of work like 'Herbie: Reloaded' under her belt, the actress still felt the need to complain to Harper's Bazaar.

"The cameras are constantly there, and they're constantly looking for the negative. So one roll of the eyes and you're deemed drunk. One wrong step, your ankle twists, and you're drunk. They can declare, 'Lindsay drunk in the day!' which I never was in my life, actually."

That must have been quite a turn of the ankle last month that saw her drunkenly snogging the face off a pasty-looking Italian bloke on a Venetian hotel sofa in full view of the world's press. To be fair, they were courting, and had been for nearly 12 minutes.