LINDSAY GOATHAND

Lindsay Lohan has been accused of theft after walking out of a New York nightclub with someone else's £5,000 coat, but the alleged victim of the crime has a rather bizarre punishment in mind for the loose-moraled star: she wants her to milk goats.

Now we know that HoHan has a few vices but we didn't know theft was among them. The actress has been accused of theft by a 22-year-old student after she walked out of a nightclub wearing her grandmother's expensive mink coat.

The student, Masha Markova, had been sitting next to Lohan at the 1Oak club and became worried when she couldn't find her coat at the end of the night. Later she saw pictures in OK! of Lohan wearing the coat, and thought, "Fuck me, that bitch has got my coat!" Or words to that effect.

Markova contacted the actress's lawyer and the coat was returned, but it stank of stale fags and booze (of course) and now the Russian wants £5,000 compensation. Which is a bit steep, but you don't ask you don't get.

But that's not all she wants. In an interview, she suggested that Lindsay should go and "milk goats for two weeks", which is apparently what you would be made to do in Russia for a similar crime, although it sounds more like something that would happen in Borat's Kazakhstan.

Anyway, it would make a welcome change from her milking the likes of Calum Best...

Here's the student talking about the incident in an interview (if you really haven't got anything better to do with your time).