PARTY FAVOURS

With the acting talent at her disposal I'm still unsure as to why Lindsay Lohan isn't the richest woman in the world. There's simply no explanation. Lindsay is in fact so poor that she has been reduced to selling off sponsorship rights to her own 22nd birthday party via an exclusive website, so here's your chance to get involved in the festivities.

I truly hope this is a joke, but this claims to be a website arranging the party and begging for some people to come along and throw money at the affair, though the name 'Dizmajiz' has to be a joke, surely?

Anyway, Lindsay and ten of her friends will start the day by having massages and facials. Much like any other day then. Later, 75 VIP guests will celebrate the fact that she's survived this long by attempting not to murder her at an exclusive party.

Cough up enough money and your company's product could be in the goody bags and have its logo plastered all over the invitations and venue, which is pretty classy by anyone's standards.

Let's hope that 'Preparation H' splash out their whole marketing budget for the year and become sole sponsors. Not only will it look highly embarrassing for Lindsay, but they're renowned for getting rid of pains in the arse.