INDIA STRAITS

Michael Lohan has really put his foot in it this time. His mouth, that is. Last week he was blabbing to all and sundry that he and his talented daughter Lindsay would be gracing the Indian subcontinent with their presence next February, to do a little missionary work...

Lindsay's immediate reaction was a refreshing "No I'm not, and he's making all of this up for publicity," which is fair enough. Her father responded by attacking her management verbally and saying that she'd be better off with him running her career.

Now it seems the 'actress' has had enough of her father commenting on her every move and running off to the press every time he hears her farting in the bath. She feels so strongly about the issue that she even deigned to appear on a radio show called 'The Billy Bush Show' (which has nothing to do with her penchant for clambering out of cars without wearing knickers).

"I just wish that he wouldn't go and talk to the media. It's not attractive to me, it really upsets me and I wish he would stop... I love my father. I just don't know why he's doing what he's doing. It's a weird situation, very odd."

Maybe he's doing it for the same reason Lindsay's mother Dinah is allowing TV cameras to follow her and her children around for a reality show? Because they're fame vampires, and once they have suckled the sweet, sweet teat of publicity they crave more, living life vicariously and by osmosis through the life of a famous child? Or they just could be a pair of thoughtless twats - I don't know.