LILY GETS THE HUMPTY

As you might have seen in the papers, Lily Allen has chosen to continue her recent policy of not doling out criticism for the sake of a little publicity. Damn! She's failed again, what a surprise! This time she's having a pop at Radiohead for daring to offer fans the chance to pay what they believe their latest album 'In Rainbows' is actually worth.

Nothing to do with the fact that if Lily went down the same route then after a month she'd have pledges of a few old buttons and some left over pesetas offered by a middle-aged couple in Kent after a Spanish holiday in the eighties.

No, in perhaps the greatest pot-kettling incident of this century so far, Lily has dubbed the Oxford band "arrogant" for their otherwise widely-applauded innovation.

"It's arrogant for them to give their music away for free - they've got millions of pounds. It sends a weird message to younger bands who haven't done as well." But Lily, if the music is good enough then the cream will rise to the top (see Arctic Monkeys' example). And on a dairy theme, Lily continued:

"You don't choose how to pay for eggs, why should it be different for music?" Because it's music, Lily. It's a type of art, not a dairy produce. Eggs are nice to eat, music enriches the soul. You can hang around the Groucho with your dad and Damian Hirst all you like, but if you don't understand the crucial difference, then it's like explaining a card trick to a dog.