KIRSTEN TO TEARS

Spiderman actress Kirsten Dunst in reportedly still not over her ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal, and to make matters worse, he is looking cosier than ever with Academy Award-winning actress Reese Witherspoon. Star magazine is claiming that Dunst has been seen crying in public twice recently, and it's her broken heart that is making those tears flow.

Jake is not content with resting his head on Reese's unusual chin in private but he also has the cheek to be seen in public with her and her kids, making him look quite the conventional chap.

Luckily, a close fried of Dunst was on hand to spill the beans to Star, and with friends like these etc?

"Seeing photos of him out with her kids is just too much to handle. She always thought she and Jake would reunite, but now those dreams have faded." Pretty flowery language for 'a friend', no? It's not always a bad thing when your dreams don't come true, as anyone who has been pursued in a dream down a street by a plum with a quacking beak will agree.

Poor Kirsten. Maybe she should settle down and marry a nice dentist. She can take solace in the fact that she's survived a relationship with both Jake and Johnny Borrell and emerged relatively sane. Relatively.