KERRY KATONA TO STAR IN NEW REALITY SHOW

ETERNAL SHAME

Published on Wed 12 December 2007 by Fatty

KERRY KATONA TO STAR IN NEW REALITY SHOW

Oh LORD. I don't really know how to break this to you but 'loveable' Kerry Katona is hurling herself and her family onto our screens next year for a new reality show about her life called 'Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love'.

Well they got the crazy bit right, at least.

But FFS! Now instead of hearing about her bloody fish soup 'perfume' in OK! every week, we'll have to see it on TV.

And lo, what japes it'll be watching the mushy-pea dribbling wreck put her Rimmel on for the Iceland adverts. Or gurning before her big interviews.

I'm sure her children will be thrilled that not only will they have these actual memories of their childhood with Kerry and the dodgy taxi man locked away for a psychologist to unravel in later years, but they'll have it committed to tape too.

"Oh set the video, mum, it's that one of you shoving half of Colombia up your nose with our new dad."

Well it's evidence at least for the poor mites.

Kerry Katona, chip shop, Bryan McFadden, Atomic Kitten, drugs, Iceland, holy moly, celebrities

pass it on print article

WIN THREE PAIRS OF TICKETS FOR PREMIERE OF DEAD SET
NOT-SO-EASY RIDER
SATURDAY NIGHT LEAVER
NEWSMOUND
THIN, LOOS OR BOAR

DATED ATTRACTION
UNSTICKY AND SOUR
FRIENDS AGAIN?
IT'S THE EBAY-CKHAMS
MUMMY'S BOY

COMMENTS

		Dollydagger on Wed 12 December 2007 said... No! This cannot be true. Only a complete idiot could commission such a folly.
		dandyboy on Wed 12 December 2007 said... These things only get commissioned because some cunt thinks lots of other cunts will watch it. That's how buying Heat magazine affects what shit gets put on our telly. Anyway, even Channel 5 wouldn't show this shit, what channel is it on, the fucking 'past it and more desperate by the day' channel?
		spqr on Wed 12 December 2007 said... Whoever signed this off has signed away their career....except for whichever company did that Anthea Turner Perfect Housewife, it'll be open arms there
		Razorjaw on Wed 12 December 2007 said... I might have to "hurl" my TV out the window.
		wobblefanny on Wed 12 December 2007 said... Bring back Cee-fax!!!
		JiggeryCock on Wed 12 December 2007 said... Fuck That - Bring Back The Test Card!
		Dubbadubbadubba on Wed 12 December 2007 said... Christ on a spacehopper. I trust BBC Four will be battling for the rights to this pinnacle of television history? It's going to be David Fucking Gest all over again, isn't it? A documentary about someone who does fuck-all except flog their life to TV shows and magazines aimed at morons. What treats can we expect? Katona smoking her way through pregnancy? Katona spending those all-important twelve minutes per week of quality time with her beloved children? Katona visiting the two members of her family she hasn't declared an eternal hatred for after they sold their stories to the tabloids (something she'd never stoop to)? Katona showing us the massive TV those nice insurance people gave her? Katona showing us her range of valuable cars, taking care to explain which ones aren't fitted with tracking devices? Still, Katona's life certainly suits a fly-on-the-wall documentary. If anyone's house is going to have flies on the wall (next to the nicotine stains, blood splatters, dents from thrown plates and assorted faeces), it'll be her crack-palace.
		darkfung on Wed 12 December 2007 said... For FUCk SAKE Holy Moly -- It's christmas for Christ's sake --- good will and all that --- so what the hell did we do to deserve this piece of shit bad news ??? That's me cancelling my turkey !
		CaptainCuntflaps on Thu 13 December 2007 said... Kerry to camera crew - 'Can you not come round tomorrow, we need to fake another burglary as the Iceland cheques have dried up and I need some more crack.'
		Sami_Bee on Thu 13 December 2007 said... Maybe we'll see her have yet another "miscarriage scare" even her own body doesn't think she should have kids but just like it's parents it hangs around like a parasite.