SIMPLY WEEP

Kelly Rowland loves the British. She loves the British so much that she spent part of the weekend stomping around in front of some excitable British men in one of the worst examples of women's clothes we've ever seen – and we know NOTHING about women's clothing...

The Destiny's Child also-ran's current obsession with how 'amazing' Britain is may have a lot to do with the fact that it is the only country in the world still bothering to buy her singles.

New single 'Work' is her fifth Top Ten hit in this country but flopped so spectacularly in America that there are no records of its US chart career. She had a little more success with her last US single – 'Ghetto' saw Kelly haul herself to the heady heights of Number 109.

"The UK feels like my second home," said the second least famous Destiny's Child, "I really want to get to one of the Spice Girls gigs before they finish their tour."

We hate to think what sort of outfit she'd have dug out for her G.A.Y show if she was comfortable enough to consider the UK her first home. If wearing peacock feathers wasn't enough of a fashion disaster, having to gaffer-tape the crotch of your corset was the icing on this particularly badly dressed cake...