Kelly Osbourne moves to New York for love
Oversexed, Overweight and Over There
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Published on Tue 03 July 2007 by IanMcShane
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Kelly Osbourne moves to New York for love |
Sadly, the population of Great Britain has been reduced by the tune of one, as Kelly Osbourne has decided to follow her snout and snuffle across the Atlantic, all in the name of love.
Yes, Kelly has fallen for a young American chap, meaning that the lusty males of the UK must now stare forlornly at their bedroom ceilings, wistfully making withdrawals from (or deposits depending on which way you see it) their wank banks, as Britain's premier piece of eye candy has now departed these shores.
Jarrod Gorbel (crazy name, crazy guy) is singer with indie band The Honorary Title. He has stolen the English dandelion's heart and demanded that she move into his New York apartment, unless she finds herself snapped up by the hordes of ravenous blind men who pursue her.
Despite almost exclusively dating shit British rockers in the past, Kelly is SO over men from the UK.
"British boys can be a bit wimpy and a bit girly," Osbourne said. "I don't want a guy who spends more time on his hair than I do."
To be fair, Kelly only spends about 12 seconds on her hair each day. She unwraps the block of lard, smears it on and eats the remainder.
Yes, Kelly has fallen for a young American chap, meaning that the lusty males of the UK must now stare forlornly at their bedroom ceilings, wistfully making withdrawals from (or deposits depending on which way you see it) their wank banks, as Britain's premier piece of eye candy has now departed these shores.
Jarrod Gorbel (crazy name, crazy guy) is singer with indie band The Honorary Title. He has stolen the English dandelion's heart and demanded that she move into his New York apartment, unless she finds herself snapped up by the hordes of ravenous blind men who pursue her.
Despite almost exclusively dating shit British rockers in the past, Kelly is SO over men from the UK.
"British boys can be a bit wimpy and a bit girly," Osbourne said. "I don't want a guy who spends more time on his hair than I do."
To be fair, Kelly only spends about 12 seconds on her hair each day. She unwraps the block of lard, smears it on and eats the remainder.
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IT MUST BE LOVE OUT, DAMNED CLOT! NEWSMOUND IT WAS ME, MINI-ME THE RAT IS BACK |
BIG BOY VERSUS WILD CHILD MY DIGNITY'S ON THE FLOOR FIXED RATE LOHAN BALL-GAME THREES A CROWD |
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